Practicing Self-Compassion with Kristin Neff
Author and researcher Kristin Neff has studied self-compassion and its effect on our well-being for the past decade. She suggests that it is self-compassion, not self-esteem, that will serve us best in times of stress and struggle.
For reflection alone or together:
Try this exercise from her website self-compassion.org:
First, think about times when a close friend feels really bad about him or herself or is really struggling in some way. How would you respond to your friend in this situation (especially when you’re at your best)? Please write down what you typically do, what you say, and note the tone in which you typically talk to your friends.
Now think about times when you feel bad about yourself or are struggling. How do you typically respond to yourself in these situations? Please write down what you typically do, what you say, and note the tone in which you talk to yourself.
Did you notice a difference? If so, ask yourself why. What factors or fears come into play that lead you to treat yourself and others so differently?
Please write down how you think things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way you typically respond to a close friend when you’re suffering